FLORIDA

It’s great to be back in America again where, with a clear conscience, one can place toilet paper in the receptacle for which it was intended!

We arrived in Orlando on Sunday, March 9, after a long day in the air and waiting in airports.  After a restful night, we headed southwest, intending to spend part of the day in Sanibel.  Unfortunately, unexpected mechanical problems delayed us and we had to spend the night in Fort Myers.  The next morning, we got up bright and early and drove toward Key West.  We had been told us it was a ‘must-see’.  The road to Key West may be paved with good intentions, but if we ever go back it will be by water or air, not over land.

After watching the sun rise over the Everglades, we turned south and went through farm country where nursery crops are grown in abundance.  The area around Homestead was particularly beautiful.  Soon after, we hit the swamp again and drove along a long causeway-bridge until we reached Key Largo, first of the Keys; then came Islamorada, Leyton and Marathon.  Not at all what I was expecting: an overwhelming forest of billboards.  We counted five sandal outlets, all promising prices cheaper than Key West; lawyers promising to “Stop Bill Collectors”; gentlemen’s clubs promising to reveal all; a place called Fred’s Beds; a veterinary hospital offering laser treatments; and my personal favourite: “Bra Outlet for Plus-Size Women” (DD and up only!)

As we crawled toward our destination, we met hundreds of Harleys, many of them driven by beer-gutted men wearing grey t-shirts that were the perfect match for their Fu-Manchu moustaches.  The traffic was horrendous.  What should have taken us two hours took us four and we were exhausted by the time we finally reached the southern terminus of US Highway 1.  Key West was crammed with visitors: a large Princess line cruise ship was in port; it was Spring Break for university students; and March just happens to be the high season anyway.

But we made the best of the short time we had there and thoroughly enjoyed strolling around the old section of the city.  The architecture is authentic and very interesting, and there seems to be lots to do there.  Because we liked the place, we looked into monthly rental prices: out of our league by a long shot!  If we did go back, it would be for a three or four day visit, probably in a bed and breakfast or an inn.

Next, we headed north to Fort Lauderdale and a day of shopping for Elva.  Whenever I feel the need for brownie points, I take her shopping.  And it works every time!  After a full day in the stores, we decided to drive the three hours to Orlando and start fresh in the morning at an outlet mall there before meeting the family around suppertime.  Well, three hours turned out to be more like four-and-a-half.  Traveling merrily along on the Florida Turnpike, we were stopped dead in our tracks by a wall of taillights.  We crawled along until we came to a couple of police cars blocking the road, and were directed up a ramp to God knows where.  We followed the traffic and came eventually to Interstate 95 North.

Everything was fine for ten minutes or so and, bang, another traffic snarl.  Along we crept at 20 kilometres an hour.  We could see smoke up ahead and I thought: “It must be quite the fire to have shut down the Turnpike and slowed things to a crawl on the Interstate.”  Lo and behold, when we finally got to the “fire”, it turned out to be nothing more than a grass fire that had spread into some brush; a little bit of smoke billowed across the road, barely enough to hamper visibility.

“Some fire, eh!  Nothing twenty well-aimed bladderfuls couldn’t have put out if you ask me,” I thought.  “Dang d’innocents!”, Jos Denis would have said.  We watched in amazement as dozens of policemen redirected traffic around the pitiful conflagration, and the line of cars and trucks stretched back at least three kilometres.

We found our family in Clermont, near Orlando, in a nice four-bedroom house rented for the eight days we’d spend together.  On the first day, we went to Typhoon Lagoon, my favourite among the water parks.  For seven hours, we cavorted in the wave pool and rode as many water slides as we could manage, including my favourite, Crushin' Gusher.

Our next stop was Legoland.  Samuel is a big Lego fan and stared wide-eyed at the amazing life-size sculptures and miniatures located throughout the park.  This one of a Ford parked at a gas station took a team of twenty-two people the better part of a year to complete!

Samuel (7) and Natalie (5) also took a turn at driving school.

We rode three roller-coasters, including one where your feet hang in the air.  The first word out of Natalie's mouth when we got off was: "Encore!"

 

On day 3, we went to Blizzard Beach, the second of Disney’s water parks.  While this one has the more thrilling water slides, it’s not quite as much fun for the little ones.  Nevertheless, they swam, splashed and cavorted in the water until closing time.

After taking a day off to rest a bit, we spent the next two days at Epcot and Animal Kingdom.  My first impressions of both conjured up images of the famous quote attributed to Yogi Berra: “Nobody comes here anymore.  It’s too crowded!”  Although we weren’t able to see and do everything we’d planned, even a mediocre day at Disney is better than a March day in Charlottetown.  The little ones were amazingly patient and well-behaved, so who were we adults to complain? 

 

The only thing NOT artificial at the Disney theme parks is the fun.  It’s very real.  But the rest is mostly concrete, asphalt, steel, and fiberglass.  I will say that the operation of the theme parks is flawless: everything is on time; everything works; staff members are unfailingly friendly; and the place is spotless.  At Animal Kingdom, we got the wits scared out of us on the Dinosaur ride, as can be seen clearly on several facial expressions.

After eight days with Samuel and Natalie, we were reminded why people our age are not meant to have young children: their energy knows no bounds!  They wore us out!

On our last day together, we visited Hollywood Studios and made the most of our time there.  Natalie, seen below, was in charge of planning our day.

We did Star Tours, Indiana Jones Epic Stunt Spectacular, Muppet Vision 3D, Extreme Stunt Show, Voyage of the Little Mermaid, and  Beauty and the Beast.  For excitement, we rode the Rock 'n' Roller Coaster Starring Aerosmith and took the elevator in the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror.  When we got back to the house, the kids still had enough energy for the pool: once before supper and again after!

The photo below shows Samuel with three members of the amazing stunt driver team.

 

The one below shows a few terrified faces in the Tower of Terror.

Sylvie and I waiting to board the Aerosmith roller coaster, my favourite of all the rides we took in Florida; it does three complete corkscrews in the dark and is FAST!

With all the people visiting the theme parks, it's hard to believe one would encounter Islanders but, of course, we did.  We met one family from North Rustico at Typhoon Lagoon and another family from Charlottetown, not once but twice: at Blizzard Beach and at Animal Kingdom.  What are the odds?

Ghislain, peerless trip planner and expedition leader, did a wonderful job keeping us on schedule and on budget.  The time we spent together has left us with indelible memories.  For those who haven't experienced the Florida theme parks with little ones, you don't know what you're missing!
 

Tomorrow morning, we say our goodbyes, and Elva and I will set off for Fort Lauderdale to board the MS Westerdam for the next leg of our journey, a seven-day Caribbean cruise.